Good Sunday afternoon y ‘all! I’m wrapped up under the cover with some Vick’s painted below my nose, waiting for my company to come over. In the meantime, let me just tell you all how much I’ve missed you. It feels like it has been forever.
I thought I would talk about the topic of differentiating between love and lust. So many people seem to not acknowledge the difference, but let me just express how our younger generation isn’t into “love” but more into siding with “lust”.
Question: What is love? It just seems that everyone makes it out to be something bad.
There are different types of love: The love we learn from our parents, the love we think we know based on these movies, and then the love that we’re actually capable of giving to another.
WHAT DO PARENTS TEACH TO US AT A YOUNG AGE?
Unintentionally, parents teach us the kind of love that sometimes confuses. They put a cap on love and hide away all the ugly things from the kids, because they’re trying to protect our innocence as far as what love is. Mom might away hide away from her kids the traumatic experience she has had since Dad cheated on her.
At times it seems as though when our parents choose to argue in another room, that it protects our little eyes and ears from hearing and seeing things that we shouldn’t. Doesn’t matter where you go in the house, things are still seen and heard even if it’s not literally in front of the child.
My parents didn’t care, they argued in front of my siblings and I. Momma was controlling and anger-filled at times and Papa was just careless and nonchalant about family values. I mean you can’t really hide what often spills out of the bottle anyway.
Parents sometimes unintentionally teach us to never mend broken relationships with those who has stepped out of love with us. They teach us that no matter how much a kid is told to stay in their place, there are often leaks in the building that let’s out all their business. Nothing is ever a secret.
They’ve taught me that it’s not okay to be friends after a divorce, because someone is always going to be on the move to do something to sabotage the next relationship. If anything parents teach their children the regrets of love.
WHAT DOES THE MOVIES TEACH US ABOUT LOVE?
I hate romance movies and things that involve happy endings. Why? Well, because it never shows the real bad stuff about love. It never displays that sometimes the person who deserve to be picked for love, ends up being stood up by the person who you thought would come through in the end.
Also, the fairytale stuff about love is such a poor figment of imagination that in all honesty no one can ever be like Cinderella. There’s no glass slipper for the woman who sweeps the floor, keeps the house clean, and cooks…..harsh huh? I believe that to be true, because all of the “Cinderella’s” get cheated on by the guy who comes as her prince charming.
The movie is just that; A MOVIE! It is nothing else, not even with the mere lesson of love in it unless the writer has experienced it for real. I find that the illusion that is set in every romantic movie, is the one that sends messages of hope that love will come to the damsel in distress.
All she has to do is show up and just be herself, but what happens if that girl cannot be herself? What if she gets butt shots? Perhaps her self-esteem is critically low, and she thinks very low of herself then what?
There’s nothing that ever needs fixing with the couple, unless it’s someone trying to break them apart. What if no one is trying to break them apart? What if it’s something about their character that breaks them apart? Why does the fairytale movies never show that? There’s always something inning of itself that a person battles eternally and not necessarily externally.
The movies are just flat out wrong. They’re beautiful but they aren’t real.
THAT’S ALL THE LOVE I CAN GIVE….
Before I can give love I need to want to love myself, first. Doesn’t matter if it’s the guy I’ve bee in love with from years ago, or anyone else. It’s better to focus on who you are as an individual to find out what your capable of in the name of love.
The difference between the other love and what you have to give is just that; ALL THAT YOU HAVE TO GIVE. Some may not be able to give love as they want, and that’s no reason to stay in something because of excuses.
If I know I can’t love you with all that I am capable of, then I’m not going to try to love you in my condition. That will only cause me to break hearts and damage myself.
I want to love but in the right condition, otherwise it’s impossible for me to love how I should.
KC Copeland, LLC 